While you shouldn’t have to play in a game that you don’t enjoy, I think it would be a good idea to step back and try to understand why this is happening.
You’ve been running this group for a long time. Now once someone else is GMing, they are basically running wild, right? And picking on you? Maybe it’s just random, but maybe there’s a reason for it. I am reminded of a GM who posted a question on this site about how his characters wanted an “evil campaign” and were now running around doing whatever they wanted instead of playing “realistic evil,” and he came to understand that it was probably because they really just wanted freedom of action after being controlled tightly by the GM for so long. I’ve seen this a number of times over the years when a very controlling GM has the tables turned on them.
- They are deliberately outclassing and marginalizing your PC
- They are teasing you and putting you down
- They are not following the plot but are running around doing things that come to their mind as fun
This tells me that possibly, they feel like you have been an overly controlling GM/deity for some time and they are enjoying both the freedom of being able to have their characters do what they want (even if there are consequences) and hazing you in some kind of retribution. Naturally you are still trying to be the force of order and control even as a PC, given how used you are to being in charge, and are doing your part in creating an adversarial relationship with the other PCs. However, this then continues their motivation to resist your influence, and now that you’re not in charge, you can’t just stop them with your fiat.
I’m not saying they should be bullying you, but this is an opportunity to learn. Both about being a player from the player’s perspective (a mortal who frequently has a lot less control over their circumstances than they’d like) and about the GM from the player’s perspective (you need them to have a game, but they don’t see themselves as an equal and their actions affect you greatly).
You could just quit. But then what? Take GMing back over? Well, maybe they “got it out of their systems” but maybe they are just going to take this as “oh sure, she can dish it out but not take it” and act up even more.
You could steer into it and use it as a learning experience. The first two lessons to learn are:
- Your character is not you
- The plot is not you
I suspect you are entirely too invested in both of these things. Give them up, and focus instead on your relationships with the other people at the table and all of you having fun, NOT at the expense of each other.
You can start playing a hothead character. Why not? That’s not “you” but that’s why we call it role-playing. Next time an NPC y’all are questioning gives you lip, punch him in the throat! That’ll surprise the others. Let yourself off the leash and have fun. Have your character drink too much and dance on the bar. Have fun with the other players to be accepted.
Instead of focusing on the plot (which clearly neither the PCs or the DM care about) – focus on how you can help the other PCs achieve their goals. Be their wingman in the bar. Assist the higher skill characters on skill attempts. Some of the problem is that they don’t believe you are “on their side” – and they’re right. You’re still trying to control them, and that is just about as rude and inconsiderate as them calling you a hothead. Ideally your SO would have clued you in to this, but maybe he agrees and thinks openly discussing it’ll “get him in trouble” with you. (Also be sensitive to that if the GM sides with his SO too much it erodes player confidence in his judgement, so he may be taking a light hand to not fall into that trap.)
As you do this you will learn a lot from the player perspective about how you have to work with other players and how the GM sets a lot of the boundaries for you, consciously and unconsciously, that affect your fun. This will make you a better GM when you resume the screen and if you can show yourself a friend and ally of the other PCs and not just “their boss”, they should be more willing to settle down a little when it happens.
Again, I’m not saying they’re right to bully, and you can always just quit, but I strongly suspect that there’s something to be learned from this and if you can just reorient your thinking to have fun as a player in this game being a bit more chaotic and supporting the other PCs you will come out of it much better.
(As a side note this isn’t rally that much of a RPG-specific dynamic, and can be found in workplace relationships and friend-group relationships – developing the skill to understand why you’re not being accepted and what to do about it is super valuable and it’s actually great to be able to work it out in the safer confines of a RPG.)